I stopped by the nail salon recently to have one of the nail techs fix what I had done to my manicure. Over the weekend I picked off the paint and needed it fixed, I wanted them to look presentable for an event. Anyone close to me knows that I am the worst at personal nail care. I've bitten my nails for as long as I can remember and anytime I've tried to stop- it only lasts a couple of days, sometimes a week- but never longer than that. I've done the work of analyzing myself and I'm pretty sure it is stress response. Except that I also do it whenever I'm hungry, bored or driving. Anyway, the nail tech literally threw his head back and said with a great smile, "These are the shortest nails I've ever tried to paint. You need fake nails." He's right but I'm just not an acrylic nail kind of girl- and he doesn't know that I've had those before and bit them off too. Painting them once in a while helps, but those long gorgeous nails will probably never be a reality for my life. I'm really okay with it. It just doesn't look like that for me.
I thought about that when I had the chance to attend the Belong Tour (http://www.belongtour.com/) last weekend. I honestly wasn't sure what to think of it at first. I was confused by the secular music and lack of scripture, but I tried to keep my mind open to the purpose and heart behind the conference. It was more raw for sure. The speakers talked about battling eating disorders, drug addiction, grieving the loss of a marriage, abortion, miscarriages, infertility, alcohol abuse and Jesus. They threw it down. All the doors were opened, the windows threw wide and they shared how they were met by the rescuing love of Christ in their darkest days. To be fair, I heard both negative and positive reviews- but some of the things I am thinking about came from women I talked to after the weekend.
"This is the first Christian conference I've been to that I don't feel so ashamed of my past."
"This is the most real I've ever heard 'church people' be."
"I wish I had heard some of these things when I was struggling with _______"
"I would love to bring my friend ______________, they would not feel judged here."
"Life just isn't perfect for me, I wish I could tell someone what I really struggle with."
......it made me really think. As a church goer, worship leader and therapist who runs my counseling practice out of church, I needed some time to process this.
Isn't this who we want in church? Isn't this who needs Jesus? Me and the dear one next to me whose marriage is in shambles? Who's child is depressed and suicidal?
What in the world are we doing? By making church for the perfect we have opted out of the struggle. The struggle where Christ met so many during his time on earth. At the same time I refuse to water down the Gospel and its power in my life. There is nothing I can do to earn my salvation. My life and death are sealed in Christ's death and resurrection. So how does the reality of incredible struggle mix with this reality? I think we enter a relationship with Christ from different chairs. From different pain and joy. I just want people to come.
I'll just wrap my thoughts in this.....
CHURCH IS FOR THE HURTING, NOT FOR PERFECT PEOPLE. THERE ARE NO PERFECT PEOPLE. JESUS SAVED ME, CHANGED ME, RESCUED ME. LET'S GATHER IN CHURCH TO BE REAL ABOUT THAT.
XO Sarah
p.s. A couple of the speakers and authors we heard over the weekend are writing some incredible books. Check these out for more on this topic:
Jen Hatmaker "For The Love"
Shauna Niequist "Present 0ver Perfect"
Glennon Doyle Melton "Love Warrior"
Patsy Clairmount "You are More Than You Know"