The truth is, I’m kind of stumbling around in this new decade. My kids aren’t tiny anymore- and I loved the tiny baby phase- I loved taking care of them. But now, they are tall and smelly and smarter than me. I’m also 10 years into my career- and I need to mix it up a little bit. I’m training to be a yoga teacher. A healthy approach to a midlife crisis, perhaps? I don’t really know how to handle the weird body things that happen at 40. WHY DO I NEED TO HAIR ON MY CHIN AND WHY DOES MY BACK HURT FROM SLEEPING?! I digress.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about courage in this mixing it up, of trying the new thing. Unexpectedly but delightfullly, my oldest is showing me how to do this. He’s a real gentle soul- except when his siblings are bugging him. But, over the last two years, as he’s entered high school- he’s been trying all kinds of new things. He’s been playing football, which was new to him in 9th grade. He’s been throwing the shot put and discus- accepting the strength of being a big guy. He’s been taking super hard classes, trying new clubs at school and making new friends- which is hard because he’s a bit of an introvert and can be shy at times. But, you guys- its been precious to watch. Not everyday is good- not everyday is wonderful- but he’s chosen to dive in and just be himself. His confidence is inspiring- it challenges me to not be afraid, and to not apologize for my strengths. And weaknesses.
So in this vein- I wanted to take on some new challenges this decade of 40’s. I wanted to not let my fear dictate what I tried, or how I apologized when I failed or how I leaned into scary things. But “the why” is here is just as important. Why try? Why step out? Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to watching our son:
Because being able to Is the gift.
I know this is old as time, but its just true. Being able to try, to push, to be brave is a gift. I'll chase it down because I can- and Jesus has given me the courage to try. What I know to be true: When the Holy Spirit calls my spirit into something new- there will be strength there. There will be dignity and not shame.
Deuteronomy 31:6 MSG
“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”
xo
Sarah