I've had a couple of weeks to ponder over this post and approximately one thousand things have swirled their way through my brain as to what topic a marriage blog should cover. Or at least 10 ideas anyway. I've been married now for 15.5 years. We've been together for 19.5 years. I can't really believe it and I'm so grateful for my life with Jeff. We've laughed and battled our way to a really wonderful relationship and its been amazing, hard, beautiful, tough and sweet. Usually all of those in one day. When I think of marriage I think of my own, those in my family and those of my clients. They all come with a unique story- some tragic, some peaceful- and some with many valleys and mountain tops. I'm not sure where your marriage is coming from, what point it may be at now, or if you are single and looking forward to being married one day, but I'm glad you found this blog post. After thinking on it, I've decided there is really only one topic in marriage I can manage to cover in a single blog post. So, here it is:
Your spouse/fiance/partner/boy/girlfriend was not made to complete you.
We are made, by God, to be in relationship. Made in the Garden to be united in flesh and spirit with our soulmate. BUT, we were not made to complete each other. Although I really do adore my husband, he is human and incapable of meeting all of my needs. He's a great provider, a wonderful friend, a confidant, etc...but never made to complete me. It has taken me 15 of the last 15.5 years to really start to understand this and take some pressure off of my marriage.
The Lord, my creator, the One who created my inmost being (Psalm 139) is the only One who can meet these deepest needs. I see it over and over and over in myself and my marriage counseling clients- we want our partner to fix or fill these needs and they are not capable of doing so, creating disappointment, resentment and anger in so many relationships. Read Psalm 139 and be encouraged by the vast love that Jesus has for you. He knows your needs.
The goal of my blog this week is to set you free from the secret that you are this person; disappointed and angry in the relationship that you do or don't have and show you the One who can meet all of those needs. All the way. Everyday. Our spouses/partners can meet a lot of needs but not all of them. We can set ourselves and spouses free by letting Jesus fill us up.
Pursuing Jesus, getting counseling when you need it, spending time God's word regularly and knowing each other's limits is marriage saving.
Check out a couple of these great online articles on this topic:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/myth-you-complete-me
http://www.growingself.com/the-healing-power-of-marriage-counseling/
Blessings always,
Sarah